francine2869

Q: What is the dumbest thing you've ever done?
A: The dumbest thing that I have ever done is to have regrets and not have learned from them. To have earned more regrets after having experienced some.

Sadness, grief, disbelief, anger, joy, happiness. It's a tribute to the human spirit how many emotions we are able to experience and live with. I extend my condolences to the Kennedy family at this time, but am also amazed at the outpouring of emotion from strangers. People who have never met have the same feelings and ideals while friends can disagree on important and vital topics.
I would describe myself as a very sensitive and empathetic person. I had someone ask me the other day how my friends and co-workers would describe me and I think that they would say that I am a good listener. I may be strange, but I like listening to people tell me about their worries and their troubles as well as their joys and happiness. (I should qualify that by saying that they have to be real problems. I do not suffer the ramblings of fools.) I find it interesting to sort through the dramatic and realistic and find the thread of what actually has happened.
I wonder though if it is possible to be such a person and still express my own thoughts and wishes 'loudly enough'. If I think that listening to people and validating them, it should make sense that I would like to be afforded the same but I find that I shy away from overtly telling the world about myself. Does posting my ramblings on Livejournal contradict that, lol? Anyway, I'm glad that there is a medium that allows people like me to wade through murky waters that we don't usually try.  

Okay, once again it's been a while since I last posted. A long while. I don't know why I keep promising myself that I will write more often and then I don't. I am a writer and whether it is fanfiction, a letter to someone or a journal entry, the simple act of writing words is a comfort and a relief. I'm also in a state now when writing will help me through some things. Hopefully I can be as interesting and entertaining as some of the members out there, but I'm not putting that much pressure on myself. I just want to be able to prove to myself that I can stick with something and not push it aside or procrastinate. To that end I'm going to write what's happening in my life but I'm also going to try and answer the "Writer's Block" question that is posted. That way I can't say I didn't have anything to write about.

Q: When you need to make a difficult decision, what kind of resources do you consult for guidance?

A: I consult the people around me first of all. I am lucky to know many people who have experienced and have knowledge of many different things so I ask their opinion(s). I also find that people can give you a better sense of something that simply reading about it/researching it can do. I try to rely on my gut instincts about decisions but also look at the literature provided and look up some of my own facts. The combination of a few things helps get a more well-rounded picture.

Thanks for reading,
Fran

Title: Far Enough
Pairing: Luke/Noah
Rating: PG
Spoilers: none

 

Title: Far Enough
Pairing: Luke/Noah
Rating: PG
Spoilers: none, if you're up to date with current episodes
Author's Note: Please forgive me if there are error's in Luke's 'explanation'. I wrote it from memory without having the clips to double check things with and I don't feel like going back and checking everything now.

Title: Far Enough
Pairing: Luke/Noah
Rating: PG
Spoilers: none, if you're up to date with current episodes
Author's Note: I meant to have this posted on Sunday night before all the "break" drama but we've had internet issues. This fic could maybe fit into what's actually going on (if you use your imagination). I think that Luke's parents, especially Holden, may have some issues with what went on in New York.  And I'm slightly evil and want to test Noah a little bit. I'm hoping that all characters will end up happy in the end. Please enjoy. :-)

I was inspired by two YouTube vidoes that I've recently (fortunately) stumbled upon, the first is Nuke, the second is actually from Gilmore Girls. The first is entitled "Luke & Noah Tribute - Did You Fall Far Enough" by matrixgoddt and the other is "Luke/Lorelai/Christopher - Thnks fr th Mmrs" by luvtheheaven. I love the songs from both for very different reasons, and the editing in the second video is amazing. Even if you're not a GG fan I encourage you to check it out.

Luke stood outside the restaurant, watching Noah and Ameera through the window. Casey’s words continued to repeat in his mind. Deep down, he couldn’t deny the truth in the statements. He knew that Casey was only speaking aloud what Luke been thinking for a while now. This whole fake marriage and pretending to be Casey’s boyfriend thing was a bad idea.

 Yes, they’d done it to keep Ameera safe and had maybe even saved her life. But what was the real result? She didn’t have a real home or relationship, she didn’t have anyone besides Noah to talk to and her future was uncertain. What would happen when she and Noah divorced? Were they fooling themselves by thinking that she would just move on and start a new life?
 
    As Luke slowly walked back into the restaurant, his heart beat hollowly in his chest. He had to do something, and the only thing he could do was going to tear him apart. He needed to be straight-forward about his feelings. It was the only way that they could work towards any solution, even if the solution meant that he and Noah could no longer be together. Compounding Luke’s own feelings was the evidence that the longer this… charade went on the more Luke could feel Noah drifting away from him. Not exactly towards Ameera, but further into the world that they had constructed. Noah was married now, and Noah being the man he was meant that the marriage vows meant something to him, even if he wasn’t aware of that fact.
 

Luke sat across from the couple and it took a moment before they stopped their conversation and noticed him.
 

“So, did you talk to Casey?”
 

Luke’s eyes narrowed in on Ameera’s hand as it crept closer to Noah’s on the tabletop.
 

“Yeah… I asked him what was going on.”
 

“And…?”
 

Even though Noah was talking, Luke zeroed in on Ameera.
 

“Do you have feeling for Noah?”
 

She looked shocked for a moment, but as always her eyes were unreadable.
 

“Of course. He’s taken care of me and sacrificed so much.”
 

“That’s not what I mean. Are you attracted to Noah? Are you in love with him?”
 

There was dead silence for a moment; the only sound Luke could hear was his own rushed breathing.
 

“Luke! What are you talking about? You know that there’s nothing between Ameera and I. We only got married so she could stay in the country.”
 

The exasperated tone in Noah’s voice wasn’t new to Luke. He’d heard it more and more lately. Noah was getting sick of Luke asking questions and not playing along correctly. It was the first time that Luke actually felt his own anger rise at the sound of it.
 

As he sat and watched Ameera stare at her lap while Noah put his arm around her shoulders, he had answers to all the questions he’d been wondering about. He finally looked directly at Noah, at the man that he loved. The man who was currently breathing heavily with annoyance and anger. The man who was glaring at Luke for daring to question the way things were.
 

He sighed and started to slip on his jacket.
 

“I can’t be a part of this anymore.”
 

Noah quickly looked up from Ameera, confusion gracing his features now while anger still flitted through his eyes.
 

“Luke? What do you mean? Where are you going?”
 

Luke stood, standing beside the table a simple arms reach from Noah that felt like hundreds of miles.
 

“I think that you and Ameera need to do this thing together. You can’t afford any outside distractions because it’s just going to lead to hurt or trouble. Like Casey said, we're going to get caught. How long did we think we could pull this off?”
 

“But… Luke, you can’t just leave. What about us?”
 

Luke tilted his head to the side, smiling at Noah as he felt his heart break on the inside.
 

“What us, Noah? You’re married. I, apparently, have a boyfriend. What kind of relationship is that? I'm not going to to live this fake life anymore Noah, I can't keep living this lie."
 

The two guys looked at each other for a long moment, a tableau in the busy diner that continued to move and bustle behind them. Ameera slyly glanced between their faces.
 

She started to pull away from Noah, and of course his attention shot back to her.
 

“Are you all right?”
 

No, I’m not. Luke thought as he walked out into the brisk wind. But at least I’m on my way now.

*~*

Luke dialed Casey's number as he walked towards the hotel. He knew that Casey was working but he needed to talk to someone and Casey was the only person who could probably understand his situation right now.

"Hughes"

"Casey, it's Luke. I need to talk to you. When's your break?"

"Right now, since I just got fired. Are they with you?"

"No. I... listen, I'll explain it to you face to face. Can you meet me?"

"Why not. I've got nothing else to do. 10 minutes at Java?"

"Fine. See you there."

Luke slipped the phone back into his pocket, glancing at the time as he did so. Huh, he thought. Less than an hour. It was amazing what could happen in such a short time.    

 

In a moment of clarity coupled with a longing for communication, I have decided to return to livejournal. My previous account was about 2 years ago and I'm not sure why I cancelled it. I've realized that having a place to broadcast (some of) my thoughts and ideas to the world is a good thing and will hopefully connect me with other people in the wild, blue ethernet yonder. I can't promise constant or even regular updates, but hopefully they won't be too sparse. I don't even know if anyone else will read this, but there is always the illusion that someone, somewhere will value my opinions and insights. Whether illusion or reality, welcome.